I'm Not Missing You
by paranoid these days
Summary: alternate ending to "the sweetest kisses"


**author's note: I'm not sure which one you guys'll like more, this one, or "the sweetest kisses"; this is sort of an alternate ending for it. this is my third fic. unusual pairing, i know, but i had to do it. after all, they're the two hottest guys in the show. well, two out of the four hottest. the other two are l.j. and lincoln. **

**P.S. thanks soooooooooo much to beccawestlifeaddict for reviewing; you're what kept me writing!!!!**

**I'm Not Missing You**

_Oh, Oh  
I'm not missing you  
Been through just about everything that I could go through  
When it comes to relationships  
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen  
When I told myself that was it  
Now here I go, hurt again  
Cause of my curiosity  
Now that its over  
What else could it be he just had to cheat_

Tweener stepped into his apartment and locked the door behind him. He was still in shock, he guessed. Because what he was feeling couldn't be normal. He wasn't feeling hurt, sad, angry, _anything._ Just zero. It couldn't be normal to have this nothing feeling in the pit of his stomach, could it? No one could feel this way when they find out they've been cheated on.

But then again, he had had a lot of practice. But he had always acted as is it was nothing, always ignored it. He was always so quick to forgive. But he was sick of it. It was tiring. Sick of the tears; crying in the middle of the night with the faucet running so he wouldn't hear. So that none of them would hear. It had never happened before in his most recent relationship. Never happened when he was with Michael.

_I made a promise never to settle  
Why didn't I keep it?  
'Cause I hated the heartbreak  
Crying and cheating, the fooling around  
_

Oh well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Either because he cheated or for something else. But for some reason, he didn't even care. 

_(But) I'm not missing you  
I'm not going through the motions  
Waiting and hoping you call me  
I'm not missing you  
You might have had me open  
But I must be going because  
I got life to do  
I know I'm usually hanging on  
I used to hate to see you gone  
But this time its different  
I don't even feel the distance  
I'm not missing  
I'm not missing you_

He made his way to his bedroom. Dropping his coat on the chair in the corner, he lay down on the bed, staring at his ceiling. He reached over and turned on the radio on his bedside table.

He heard the rattle of the doorknob. _Oh yeah,_ he thought, _Michael has a key. _

Its a shame in a way cause  
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me  
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh  
Will my true love ever be?  
Why would I go on a search again  
When I know what the end will be  
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me? 

"Hey Mikey," Tweener greeted him, "how's it hanging?" He turned off the radio.

Michael stared at him, stymied. "What's the matter with you? Why aren't you mad?"

"'Cause I'm sick of fighting. You cheated on me, big deal. I knew it was gonna happen. It was just a matter of time." The lack of emotion in his voice mystified Michael even more. He wasn't used to feeling confused. "I think maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore."

That startled Michael out of his daze. "What?!"

Tweener shrugged. "What what?"

_I made a promise never to settle  
Why didn't I keep it?  
'Cause I hated the heartbreak  
Crying and cheating, the fooling around _

(But) I'm not missing you  
I'm not going through the motions  
Waiting and hoping you call me  
I'm not missing you  
You might have had me open  
But I must be going because  
I got life to do  
I know I'm usually hanging on  
I used to hate to see you gone  
But this time its different  
I don't even feel the distance  
I'm not missing  
I'm not missing you 

Michael started, "Look, I'm sorry. It was an accident--"

Oh, I don't doubt it. But I'm sick of crying. Not for you; we've hardly ever fought. I'm talking about all the other times. It's just... I'm tired..."

Michael threw a pillow at him. "So take a nap!"

Tweener smiled sadly at him. "I'm sorry Michael," he said softly.

_(But) I'm not missing you  
I'm not going through the motions  
Waiting and hoping you call me  
I'm not missing you  
You might have had me open  
But I must be going because  
I got life to do  
I know I'm usually hanging on  
I used to hate to see you gone  
But this time its different  
I don't even feel the distance  
I'm not missing  
I'm not missing you_

Actually, it was an interesting change of pace. Tweener was usually so needy, always hoping Michael would come back, or call when they fought; what was the matter with him now?

"What's the matter with you?" Michael repeated.

Tweener said simply, "I'm not missing you. Oh, well. No matter. Love'll be nice in somebody else's life. Doesn't have to be mine. I can deal without."

_No I can't be with you  
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me  
I can't keep going through life  
Unaware of what I missed  
And the person I could be  
Love's good when its right  
And when it's left in your memory  
All the times I let you down  
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life  
_

For the first time since Michael had gotten there, Tweener stood and moved closer to Michael. "I hope you don't resent me for this. I don't think it's really anything against you, but I don't wanna love anymore. I'm sorry."

_(But) I'm not missing you  
I'm not going through the motions  
Waiting and hoping you call me  
I'm not missing you  
You might have had me open  
But I must be going because  
I got life to do  
I know I'm usually hanging on  
I used to hate to see you gone  
But this time its different  
I don't even feel the distance  
I'm not missing  
I'm not missing you_

Michael then had a thought. "I hope you don't resent me for cheating on you. I'm really sorry."

Tweener said, "I don't."

As an afterthought, Michael then pleaded, "Baby, look, don't give up on love because we didn't work out, okay?"

Tweener answered, "I gave up on love long before us."

_(But) I'm not missing you  
I'm not going through the motions  
Waiting and hoping you call me  
(I'm not missing you)  
You might have had me open  
But I must be going because  
(I got life to do)  
I know I'm usually hanging on  
I used to hate to see you gone  
(I used to hate it)  
Oh different, oh see the distance  
I'm not missing  
I'm not missing you_

Michael looked down. When he looked up again, he had tears in his eyes. Tweener knew he was much too stubborn to let them fall. For some reason that brought hot tears in his eyes too. "I should go," Michael whispered. he dropped a key onto Tweener's bed.

As he turned to leave, Tweener grabbed his wrist. Cupping Michael's chin, he softly pressed his lips to his. Michael made no move to pull away, but made no move to deepen the kiss. After a few moments, Tweener pulled away. "For the good times. We had a lot of those," he offered as an explanation.

_I'm not going through the motions  
Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door)  
You might have had me open  
But I must be going because  
I know I'm usually hanging on  
I used to hate to see you gone  
Oh different, feel the distance  
I'm not missing  
I'm not missing you_

Tweener was wrong about Michael's being too stubborn, for a few of those tears escaped as he smiled a melocholy smile, and left the apartment.

_I'm not missing  
I'm not missing you(yeah, oooh)  
I'm not missing you (oh baby)  
I'm not missing you  
_

Tweener lay back down and turned the radio back on.

**all done!!! it took me like, 45 minutes to write. please review. i just started writing fanfics; i need to know where i stand as writer. flames are excepted!!!!**


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